So this week was an interesting one as I decided to go all in on health (but in a more holistic woo kind of a way!)
I’ve been having a flare up of my illnesses since before Christmas and have had so many steroids and antibiotics that I felt like a walking pill bag. I’ve been badly ill now for 4 years off and on and have had every specialist under the sun look at me – the best doctors in the world, the best functional medical practitioners in the UK too. Nobody can find anything wrong.
And no matter how many times I ask people not to tell me they know what’s wrong with me despite knowing nothing about my medical history, I get daily messages telling me to try this or that or green tea or oils. Even though I’ve just written this paragraph I am willing to bet you £100 I get at least 5 emails doing that in reply to this email.
Anyway, I thought I’d try 3 things and tell you about them:
I had distance Reiki with the lovely Nikki Goodison. So I find it hard to get my head around this one. I get that it’s about energy and I can almost believe that, in person Reiki where they sort of hover their hands over you could maybe work (although I still don’t get how) but from a distance? It seemed implausible!
So what happens is the healer has a text chat and tells you to lie somewhere quiet and relax and then, at the same time, she in her house wherever that is, will be doing the Reiki on you, without you even being on the phone or anything.
It’s lucky I trust Nikki because I can see how, for someone untrustworthy, this might well be the best passive income in the world! While you’re lying there, how do you know they’re not just watching Eastenders?
Anyway, I did it. I did feel more relaxed, but that might be because I lay on a bed for half an hour doing absolutely nothing, which is kind of rare. And that got me to thinking about placebos. There was a test I read about where it showed Reiki had the same effect as a placebo. But really does that matter? If a placebo works because it tricks your mind into thinking you’re healed, that could actually do some good, because we know the mind affects the body. So I’m not sure it’s a bad thing, even if it IS a placebo. The jury’s still out on this one.
I had biomagnetism. This one’s harder to explain, but I will try to do it justice.
Everything is made up of atoms. Including all the cells in your body. But there is space between all those atoms and so pseudo science says in that space there are ions. IF your body is doing what it should do, the energy of those ions moves about freely and happily. However, if something is wrong, the waviness of those ions will be all out, causing a sort of spasm to your body. Therapists can test if that happens by looking at your legs. If there has been a spasm, one of your legs will be a tiny bit longer than the other, telling the therapist there is an issue. By then putting positive and negative magnets on your body in those places it will restore the balance of those ions.
Or something. Don’t quote me on any of that because anything like this confuses me and I’ll definitely have got some of that wrong.
Anyway, I went to the therapy room of someone I trust – a very intelligent therapist called Faye Coulson.
She explained how it all works (better than I just did) and told me that most people come to her as a last resort as I was having tried all other things. I liked this honesty. It made me relate to those other patients and Faye herself whose own health issues were cured by biomagnetism. She was very very knowledgeable about the body – using scientific explanations definitely makes me trust people more.
I then lay on a bed while Faye sort of shook my feet around while naming various parts of my body that I didn’t know existed (ok, I got some of them but there were loads I didn’t know). Then she energetically felt when my body sort of told her when to stop and put a magnet on. I had quite a few areas with magnets on by the end of it and they were generally the parts of me with issues. I then lay and relaxed for half an hour before the magnets came off.
I fell asleep again (which is starting to make me think I need day naps!) and Faye said most people do sleep.
That night I had the worst head and stomach pain I’ve ever had. I’m having more sessions, so I will ask Faye if it was to do with it. I like to think of it as the magnets ridding me of toxins or something good like that bit it may have been a coincidence.
I won’t know if this one works for a while as I have to have a few sessions but I’ll keep you updated.
I received a message from an acquaintance of mine called Jess Cunningham. Jess came to my launch party last year, and she has an energy I like. She’s fun and we have had similar paths (she was on the apprentice which I was very nearly on years ago!)
She asked if I’d heard of her method – Belief Coding. I had because a few of my clients have become practitioners through Jess. Anyway, she wanted to help and, although it seemed a bit out there for me, if I can’t give things a go this year, when can I?
So Jess believes the reason my health issues started 4 years ago is because something must have happened emotionally around that time and that it resurfaces when similar, but maybe smaller instances happen that reminds my body of that particular thing.
She is not the first person to tell me this. I have worked with many who believe some kind of trauma set off a physical body reaction that my subconscious and body knows about even if my conscious mind does not. I’ve tried to find it before but failed. There are books such as The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel van Kolk and Louise Hay’s You can heal your life which say similar, but they’ve always frustrated me, because if you don’t know what ‘the thing’ is how does it help?! Also, I still find it difficult to believe my mind can make my body not be able to breathe and have proper bad physical pain – it’s not in my head, it’s there in real life.
Anyway, I thought I’d give it another go, but this time by working backwards. Instead of thinking about what could have happened 4 years ago (when things were pretty good as I’d started making millions of pounds and travelling a lot!) I’d think of what had happened in my most recent episode of bad health.
There was only one thing that stood out, but I’d been there before and dismissed it because it just does not bother me anymore and that’s online bullying.
Just before Christmas, an ex client who had spent the last year on social media saying nasty things about me suddenly went up a level and got a bit more nasty. I’d love to tell you why she even started, but I can’t. It’s happened before with ex-clients and my therapists put it down to a common emotion – jealousy, because they paid me but did not become me. This happens every now and again with a client who sees my life up close – it can trigger all sorts of things in them and once they stop working with me, they get weird. It’s rare, but it’s not the first time unfortunately.
First she would say small things about ‘an ex coach of hers blocking her’ or that a particular post of ‘her ex coach’ was about her (it never was), but none of those things were getting my attention as I don’t really get involved in that kind of baiting these days. I simply have got used to it – which I know is awful in itself!
I then got told by several others nearer Christmas that I was constantly being talked about in a nasty way in rooms she was in with other people, and it was making some mutual friends uncomfortable. I still did nothing but blocked some people that were in those rooms, not protecting my name.
That seemed to make things go up a notch and so then when this individual would write something on Facebook about me, these other people who were annoyed I had now also blocked them too, would pipe up in the comments and it would turn into a bit of a bitchfest. Obviously, I don’t see any of it, but some well-meaning friends send me screenshots because it makes them feel horrible doing nothing and hearing gossip about me.
People started to write to me saying it felt like bullying because I wasn’t defending myself against the things she was saying (example: a status said that I had told many people at a strategy session this person’s success was down to me. It simply did not happen, and I think this person just made it up to get my attention. I honestly don’t think anybody made that up and told her it. I think she thought I would need to defend myself and so it would get my attention in some way. I did not bother to defend myself. I just do not feel the need these days).
The reason I’m telling you the detail is this.
Online bullying of the normal kind does not really have any effect on me these days, and so I had always dismissed this from being the ‘thing’ causing the issues.
However, there was something in this one that sparked my interest.
And that was the ‘bystander effect’.
When lots of people also say things on a thread, and it turns into a scramble of who can say the nastiest thing, even when the people commenting do not know who it’s even about, it makes me feel weird.
And I know where it comes from! When I was bullied badly as a child, the bullies did not bother me that much. They were bullies. It was expected that they would therefore ‘bully’. But the people that would gather around and either do nothing or pile in with comments would hurt. Because they were normal people who I liked. I get now as an adult that they did it to belong, to not be bullied themselves and all sorts of other reasons. As an ambassador of the charity Bullies Out, I particularly like that their slogan includes The Bystander for this reason.
But this particular bout of bullying by the ex-client included bystanders on the thread. Some that I liked. One that wrote ‘what an awful person to think she was the reason for your success’. I spoke to that person that I knew and liked and told her that the post was about me, and she was absolutely horrified as she had no idea. But that’s the point – the bystander rarely does. But they want to support and to belong.
Anyway, I spoke to Jess about this, and she said ‘did something happen similar 4 years ago?’
And I can’t be precise, but I think it did! I even wrote about it in my book in the final chapter. A huge thread about me on Facebook by a competitor saying awful things got hundreds of comments online from people who didn’t know me.
And at that time, so early on, it DID have an effect. I hid. Well, I hid until I sued them for defamation, but you get the gist.
Could the more recent bout of low level bullying that didn’t really bother me that much really be causing my subconscious to remember how I felt 4 years ago. In a similar circumstance??
Jess said to ask my subconscious.
I’m sure you can hear me sigh.
But she showed me how. Bear with me. We’re about to get woo.
She said my subconscious knows if it’s an issue, even if I don’t, and it will tell my body. So I had to stand up and say something true and see if my body sways one way. And then say something not true as it should go the other way.
I did not expect this to work.
In fact, being the little cynic I am, I stood pretty firm when I was conning myself.
But my body moved. And not subtly!
I played with this for a while asking questions (my Husband Sam who is even more cynical than me, thinks I’m conning myself still) and then asked my subconscious:
Are my weird illnesses related in any way to bullying?
My body practically fell over shooting forward enough that my feet moved.
I’m not sure what to make of this at all. What if I am making myself move? Conning myself because I want there to be a reason?
And I’m not sure if it IS that anyway? I’m going to ask Jess what to do next.
So that’s my week of health woo.
Do I feel better? Well a bit but it might be because I’ve been sunbathing in Dubai!
Or maybe it’s not. Time will tell.
Lisa x
p.s. my hotel room in Dubai was 1119 – 3 one’s again for the 5th time in a row!
p.p.s. I had one of my weird downloads this week in Dubai. I’ll tell you about it in the next diary entry.
You know it’s interesting to note that you said that the ‘bystander effect’ makes you feel ‘weird’. Then when you were asking your subconscious a question you said ‘Are my ‘weird’ illnesses related in anyway to bullying?’ This is your subconscious mind talking to you through your words and question. Here’s to healing you ❤️
P.S. if this is read by one of Lisa’s team, please pass it on to Lisa ❤️
The numbers 1119 mean spiritual awakening. Your guides telling you that the path you have chosen or going to choose is the right one. To have faith in yourself. 9 and 111 means 12 both 9 and 12 are divisible by three. Change the 9 to a six and you still get 12 We have three guides with us and 1 angel. Cats are spiritual animals and have 9 lives. numbers are very powerful few people take any cognizance of them when needed,
I’m loving your experiment and it’s so strange (or is it?!) as I heard you say you weren’t woo in a recent challenge and I thought to myself, ‘but you are!’. I’m currently embracing my woo that I’ve been leaving in the background. Just wanted to say the Jess’s modality is AMAZING and I’ve cleared so many limiting beliefs. It was one of the ways I recovered from chronic illness. Sending you healing vibes and best of luck with the woo-ness x
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